Old People Need Facebook Rules

(Pic from here)

I’m sorry, but it’s true.  I’m including myself on that category.  This “FaceSpace Interwebs” thing is so convoluted with its shifting social norms and unwritten rules that I’m never sure if I’m doing it right, or if all the 23 year olds are laughing at me.  You’re either laughing or nodding your head, and if it is the latter, then listen closely – it’s not your fault.  Look at me, old person.  It’s not your fault.  It’s not your fault.  (Language on the youtube clip = NSFW, and that means “not safe for work”, you old person.)

It isn’t our fault.  The ground is shifting and we’re just trying to keep up and maybe see what people from our high school look like now.  Admit it.

Here is a series of questions you should consider asking yourself.  I don’t know the answers.  Maybe one of the 20-somethings can answer them in the comments section below?  Come on, whippersnappers!  We old people need Facebook Rules.  Would it be cooler if we called them Fac3buk Rulez? (No.)

What happens when someone you’ve never met sends a friend request?  What if you know of the person?  What if you’ve talked on the phone or via email but never met face to face?  What if you have met but haven’t said more than 10 words to each other?  I have probably a dozen of these friends.  I’m cool with it, but does that make me uncool?

If your work sets up a Facebook page, how do you react?  I may or may not have sent the fan request to almost all of my friends.  Are they irritated?  Are they happy to know more about where I work?  Did they just click on something and will never go back? (Yes.)  Do I need to censor myself now?  (Yes, a little bit.)  How do I respond when work space starts to co-mingle with personal space?  Is there one answer or does everyone have to decide for themselves?  Are there generational nuances?  When does 1 question become 12, and when will it ever end?

Can I use FB to try to promote my new blog, inadvertently ticking off all of my friends?  (Absolutely!)  Do I know how to use it properly?  (No!)  Did I double-spam everyone with the “80s” post in the news feed? (No, I quadruple-spammed.)  If it brought in more hits, will I do it again?  (Hmmm…)

How much can you look for former classmates of the opposite gender, just to see what they look like, without turning into a Facebook Stalker?  Again, don’t pretend like you haven’t done it.  Is this different than looking to see what your old friends look like?  Is looking once to see what your middle school crush looks like ok, or should we be taking an “Abstinence Only” approach?  What would the equivalent of “Abstinence Plus” be?  Don’t Facebook Stalk, but if you’re going to… What comes next?

Is checking FB at work the equivalent of taking a quick phone call or checking your gmail?  Or is it crossing some line?  Is it different than taking a smoke break or walking around the block (which only works in Houston for 7 days all year long)?  My question is moral/ethical rather than about policies and procedures, and I’m not advocating to break company policy.  Just asking.  Is Facebook Abstinence a realistic difference or is it just an arbitrary distinction from the 30 other things people do each day - coffee in the break room, chatting about a movie, taking a quick call, etc.  It’s called a break room, right?  What’s the difference?  (That’s a question, not my argument/point.)

To make the rabbit hole even deeper, what if you have an iPhone and are waiting around for a meeting to start.  Is it ok to check FB then?  Everyone else is chatting about their weekend plans.  I’ve only had my iPhone for a week and no meetings have started late yet.  What if it is an external meeting, at the United Way or something?  Is this ok but internal meetings aren’t?  HELP!

There are so many more questions, but you probably stopped reading 3 paragraphs ago.  If not, please do feel free to weigh in.  This was intended to be a fun blog entry, but these are real questions if anyone has opinions.

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